My ex husband (note the "ex" part) had anger managment issues and he never did come to terms with it. He would fly off into rages and then when I thought he was calm and we could talk about it he would say it was all my fault. I'm not saying you should leave someone who has issues like this, but there can be a fine line between anger management problems and abuse.

I wish I had an answer for you, but I was obvioulsy unsuccessful at getting my ex to go to counseling. If it's a frequent problem and others in the family and your circle of friends are aware of it maybe an intervention would do some good.

I have the same problem with my husband. I talk with him about it when he is calm, he refuses to acknowledge that there is something wrong with his behavior.

Truthfully, you can't make anyone do anything they don't want to. He has to realize it is a problem before he will do anything. If it is affecting your relationship maybe you can suggest couples counseling.

This is a problem with most couples. My fiance is also like this and I need to stop talking for her to stop arguing. When someone has this problem, I think it is best that we who can control our emotions better should not react to what our partners are babbling about. We can tell them about their bad reactions when they are calm to understand their behavior.

The one thing that works well for me is when my wife speaks to me after I've cooled off and can provide examples of when I've lost my temper.  Since I'm calm at the time,  I can reflect on my behavior.